Santa Banta Fishing

Santa & Singh rented a boat and fished in a lake every day.

One day they had a huge haul of 30 fish. santa said to Banta.

€œThere€™s lots of fish here! Mark this spot so that we can come here

tomorrow.€ The next day when they were driving to rent the boat,

santa asked banta , €œDid you mark that spot?€ Banta replied,

€œYeah, I put a big X on the bottom of the boat!€ Santa said, €œYou fool! What if we dont get that same boat today!?!?€

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Santa Banta on Double Decker Bus

Santa and Banta landed up in Bombay. They managed to get into a double- decker bus. Santa somehow managed to get a bottom seat, But unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top. After a while when the rush is over, Santa went upstairs to see friend Banta.

He met Banta in a bad condition clutching the seats in front with both hands, scared to death. He says, "Are Banta!

What the heck's going' on? Why are you scared ? I was enjoying my ride down there ?" Scared Banta replies. "Yeah, but you've got a *driver.* "


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Santa and the American Tourist

An American tourist in India walked into a beautiful deserted forest and found a lovely pool in it, and decided to go skinny-dipping. She looked around, didn't see anyone, and undressed and just as she was about to dive in, Santa the gardner appeared from behind the bushes where he was hiding all along and said, 'Madam! Swimming not allowed!''

You could have told me that before I took off my clothes!', the American woman scolded him.

Santa replied, 'Madam, only swimming not allowed, taking off clothes allowed!

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Santa's Interview at Microsoft

Santa sent his bio data to America to apply for a post in Microsoft. A few days later he got this reply:- Dear Mr. Kuma, You do not meet our requirements. Please do not send any further correspondence. No phone call shall be entertained. Thanks

Santa jumped with joy on receiving this reply. He arranged a party and when all the guests had come, he said Bhaiyon aur Behno,aap ko jaan kar khushi hogee ki mujhay america mein naukri mil gayee hai." Everyone was delighted. Santa continued Ab main aap sab ko apnaa appointment letter padkar sunaongaa par letter english main hai isliyen saath-saath hindi main translate bhee kartaa jaongaa.

Dear Mr. Kumar-----pyare singh sahab

You do not meet----aap to miltay hee naheen ho

our requirement----humko to zaroorat hai

Please do not send any furthur correspondance----ab letter vetter bhejnay kee zaroorat nahee hai.

No phone call ----phone vone kee bhee zaroorat nahee hai

shall be entertained----bahut khaatir kee jayegi.

Thanks----aapkaa bahut bahut shukriya

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Santa at the Udipi Restaurant

Santa Kumar goes to a Udipi hotel to have something to eat. He orders for Masala Dosa. The waiter promptly gets him the dish but is surprised to see that Santa eats only the masala leaving the dosa behind. Santa then orders for 1 plate Samosa. Again this time the waiter notices that Santa eats only the filling and not the shell. Waiter is very curious. Santa next orders for Batata Vada. This time around also Santa eats only the filling and leaves the shell behind.

The waiter is losing his patience and walking upto Santa asks him, "aap dish ke under ka hi cheez kyon khaa rahe ho, kya baki cheez pasand nahi aaya..?"(why are you eating the inside stuff don't you like the rest of it.) Santa says, "Arre bhaiyya, aisi baat nahi. Hamaari tabiyat kuch teekh nahi isliye doctor ne kaha ki baahar ka cheez mat khaya karo..."(I am not feeling so well so the doctor told me not to it outside stuff.)


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Santa and Banta - Part II

Santa Goes to heaven
Santa Kumar was in the hospital, near death, so the family sent for his friend Banta. As Banta Kumar stood beside the bed, santa Singh's frail condition grew worse, and he motioned frantically for something to write on. Banta lovingly handed him a pen and piece of paper, and Santa used his last ounce of strength to scribble a note. Then he died.

Banta thought it best not to look at the note just then, so he slipped it into his jacket pocket. Several days later, at the funeral, Banta was visting Santa's family. He realized that he was wearing the same jacket that he'd worn the day Santa died. "You know," he said, "Santa handed me a note just before he died. I haven't read it, but knowing Santa, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration there for us all."

He unfolded the note and read aloud, "You're standing on my oxygen tube!"



Sweet Revenge
Santa told his wife that after his death she should marry Banta. "But why should I marry Banta who is your enemy no 1" enquired his wife. Santa quipped, "Oh Darling, this is the only way I can take my revenge from that useless fellow. Ha! Ha! Ha!!

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