Mayawati goes to Lallu's house

Mayawati came to Lallu's house with a goat.
 

Lallu: Bhaiswa ko kyon layi ho?
 

Maya: Dikhta nahin goatwa hai?
 

Lallu: Hum goatwa se hi to pooch raha hoon.

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Bush, Manmohan, Sonia and Aishwarya in train

The train goes through a tunnel and it gets completely dark.

Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap! The train comes out of the tunnel. The women and Manmohan are sitting there looking perplexed.

Bush is bent over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap. All of them remain diplomatic and nobody says anything.

Sonia is thinking: These Americans are all crazy after Aishwarya. Bush must have tried to kiss her in the tunnel. Very proper that she slapped him.

Aishwarya is thinking: Bush must have tried to kiss me but kissed Sonia instead and got slapped.

Bush is thinking: Damn it. Manmohan must have tried to kiss Aishwarya. She might have thought it was me and slapped me.

Manmohan is thinking: If this train goes through another tunnel I will make another kissing sound and slap Bush again.

Read more: Bush, Manmohan, Sonia and Aishwarya in train

Laloo the matchmaker

Laloo talks to his son, "I want you to marry a girl of my choice ".

Son : "I want to choose my own bride".

Laloo : "But the girl is Ambani€™s daughter." Son : "Well, in that case..."
Next Laloo approaches Ambani , "I have a husband for your daughter." Ambani: "But my daughter is too young to marry."

Laloo : "But this young man is a vice president of the World Bank."

Ambani: "Ah, in that case..." Finally Laloo goes to see the president of the World Bank.

Laloo : "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice president."

President : "But I already have more vice presidents than I need."

Laloo : "But this young man is Ambani€™s son-in-law." President : "Ah, in that case..."

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Indian Election Application Form

1. Name of Candidate : _______________________

2. Present Address
(i) Name of Jail : _______________________
(ii) Cell Number : _______________________

3. Political Party : _______________________
(List ONLY the Last Five parties in Chronological Order)

4. Nationality: [ ]
A - Italian
B - Indian

5. Reasons for leaving last party (circle one or more)
A - Defected
B - Expelled
C - Bought out
D - None of above
E - All of the above

6. Reasons for contesting elections (circle one or more)
A - To make money
B - To escape court trial
C - To grossly misuse power
D - To serve the public
E - I have no clue
(if you choose "D,attach Certificate of Sanity from a Recogonised Government Psychiatrist)

7. How many years of public service experience do you possess?
A - 1-2 yrs
B - 2-6yrs
C - 6-15yrs
D - 15+yrs

8. Give details of any criminal cases pending against you (Use as many Additional Sheets as you want)

9. How many years have you spent in Jail? [ ]
(Do not confuse with question 8)
A - 1-2 years
B - 2-6 years
C - 6-15 years
D - 15+years

10. Are you involved in any financial scams? [ ]
A - Why not
B - Of Course
C - Definitely
D - I deny it all
E - I see a foreign hand

11. What is your Annual Corruption Income? [ ]
A - 10-50 Crores
B - 50-100 Crores
C - Overflow...
(Convert all your $ earning from Hawala etc. to Rupees)

12. Do you have any developmental plans for India in mind? [ ]
A - No
B - No
C - No
D - No

13. How many people have you killed or murdered ?[ ]
A - 50
B - 100
C - 1000
D - Lost count

14. Describe your achievements in space provided: [___]
Thumb Impresssion of candidate
(Not that of the person who filled the form)

Read more: Indian Election Application Form

Laloo in Wonderland

Raabri was worried whether or not Laloo upon his death made it to heaven, so she decided to try to contact his spirit by having a seance. Sure enough, after the usual mumbo-jumbo of calling to the spirits, Laloo's voice was heard answering, "Hello Raabri, this is meeee..."


"Lalooji," she answered. I just have to know if you're happy there in the afterlife. What's it like there?"

"Ooooooh, it's much more beautiful here than I ever imagined," Laloo answered. "The sky is bluer, the air is cleaner, and the pastures are much more lush and green than I ever expected and above all there is no scam. And the only thing we do, all day long, are eat and sleep, eat and sleep, over and over."

"Thank God, you made it to heaven," his Raabri cried.

"Heaven?" he answered. "What heaven? I'm a buffalo in Punjab."

Read more: Laloo in Wonderland

Laloo, Sonia, a saint and a schoolboy

Once Laloo Yadav, Sonia Gandhi, a saint and a schoolboy were travelling by a private plane.
Suddenly the engine caught fire and the pilot came out shouting, "This plane is going to crash! And we have only four parachutes and there are five of us in the plane.


Since I am a very important Indian Airlines pilot I am taking one parachute and getting out of here." Saying this he rushed to the luggage area grabbed one parachute and jumped off the plane. Sonia Gandhi said, "Since I am the future Prime Minister of India I am very important and have to live!" She also grabbed a parachute and jumped.

Laloo Yadav said, "I am the king-maker of this country, the most honest politician of India and above all the most intelligent person living in this country, and the most intelligent person must live!" Saying so Laloo went to the luggage area, grabbed one and jumped off the plane.

The old saint said to the school boy, "There is only one parachute left, and there are two of us. I am an old man and don't need to live any more. You take the last parachute and jump."
The school boy said, "Don't worry! There are still two parachutes left with us! The most intelligent person, Laloo Yadav, jumped off the plane with my school bag!"

Read more: Laloo, Sonia, a saint and a schoolboy