Munna Bhai Jokes Collection 3

Munna: Abay Circuit! Jaa baajo walay ghar say Doctor ko bula k laa, meri tabiat kharab ho reli hai.
Circuit: Aey Bhai ! aap to khud doctor ho.
Munna: Bolay to meri fees buhat zyada hai.


Munna: Bolay to Apun ko tera operation dobara karna paray ga. Kyun k apun kay rubber k gloves teray andar hi reh gaye hain.
Patient: Agar yeh baat hai to mujhay jaanay do. Mien tumharay gloves ki payment kar doon ga.

 

Munna: Bolay to darad kahan hai aapko.
Patient (F): Pooray badan mien hai
Munna: Yeh kaisay ho sakta hai ray, kuch detail batao.
Patient: Tocuhes her right knee and says here, then touches her earlobe and says here, then touches her left cheek and says here, etc.
Munna: Aesay hi khaali peeli tension de reli hai, teri finger mien dard hai.

 

Patient: Doctor aap ko yakeen hai k mujhay Namoonia (pneumonia) hai, kyun k pichlay dino aik doctor meri friend ka Namoonia ka ilaaj karta raha aur woh Typhoid say mar gayi.
Munna: Haan ray meray ko akha yaqeen hai, tu namoonia say hi maray ga.

 

Aik patient Munnabhai k paas aaya, Munna nay us ka chekup kiya aur bola
Munna: Tumharay pass ziyada waqt nahi hai
Patient: Meray pass kitna time hai.
Munna: Dus (10)
Patient: Kya Dus.... Minute..... Ghantay.......... Din......?
Munna: No (9), Aath (8), Saat (7),.......

 

Raat ka time jab Munna aur chinkie apnay bed room mien so rahay thay to phone ki ghanti baji.
Voice: Aray Doctor sahab jaldi aayeay! Meray betay nay blade kha liya hai
Munna abhi jaanay k liye tayyar hi hota k dobara phone aata hai.
Voice: Doctor Sahab! Ab aanay ki koi zaroorat nahi, meray husband ko shave k liye doosra blade mil gaya hai.

 

Aanand jab end mien bachon ko story sunata hai to bolta hai;
Aanand: "Munna nay kaha tha k woh mujhay aik month mien meray feet pay khara kar de ga"
Bachay: Phir?
Aanand: "Phir kya, mujhay us ka bill pay karnay k liye apni car bechna pari."

 

Munna: Apna munn kholo.....
Patient opens his mouth: Aaaaaaaaaaaaa..........
Munna throughs his torch light in his mouth: Hmmmmmmm..... Torch sahi hai.

 

Chinkie: Tum hamaisha clinic mien apnay saath meri photo bhi kyun le jaatay ho.
Munna: Apun ko jab bhi koi mushkil aati hai, apun tumhari pic dekh leta hoon aur woh prob. solve ho jaati hai.
Chinkie: Dekha! Mien tumharay liye kitni achi aur powerful hoon.
Munna: Haan! Apun teri pic dekhta hai aur apnay aap say bolta hai "Is say bari bhi koi problem ho sakti hai bhala."

 

Munna: Teray ko maaloom hai k cigarette aik tarah say slow poison ka kaam karta hai.
Patient: To mujhay konsa marnay ki jaldi hai.

Read more: Munna Bhai Jokes Collection 3

Munna Bhai Jokes Collection 2

MUNNA BHAI : Mamu, tu kitna pada hai?
MAMU : B.A.
MUNNA BHAI : Sala, two akshar pada aur woh bhi ulta?

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CIRCUIT : Chand toh raat ko nikalta hai, aaj din mein kaise nikal aya?
GIRL :  Ullu to raat ko bolta hai, aaj din mein kaise bol pada?

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MAMU :  Bhai, apnay ko char mahinay mein Tamil sikhna padega. Kuch upay batao.
MUNNA BHAI : Kannada kyun, aur char mahinay ka kya chakkar hai?
MAMU : Meinay ek Tamil baccha adopt kiya hai, aur woh char mahinay mein bolne lagay ga.

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PROFESSOR : Akal badi ki bhais?
MUNNA BHAI :  Bole toh pehlay date of birth bata mamu.

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CIRCUIT :  Aye Mamu, tereko papad aur jhapad mein pharak pata hai kya?
MAMU :  Nehin.
CIRCUIT :  To kha ke dekh le, pata chal jayega.

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MUNNA BHAI  : Mamu, apun bachpan mein dus maley ke building se gir gaya tha.
MAMU : Aarey, phir kya hua. Bach gaya ki tapak gaya?
MUNNA BHAI : Yaad nehin hai yaar. Bahut purane baat hai.

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MAMU :  Oye, maar gayay yaar. Meri biwi aur premika saath saath aa rehla hai.
MAMU KA DOST : Arrey, mein bhi yehi bolnewala tha.

Read more: Munna Bhai Jokes Collection 2

Munna Bhai Jokes Collection 1

 Munna Bhai Jokes

PROFESSOR : Gandhi Jayanti ke baray mein kya jante ho?
 

MUNNA BHAI :Gandhi bahut zabardast aadmi tha, Baap. Maa Kasam, par apun ko yeh nehin maloom ke yeh Jayanti kaun hai. 

 

CIRCUIT : Bhai, Bapu ne bola tha ke kabhi jhoot nehin bolna mangta hai. Apun aaj se kabhi jhoot nehin bolega Bhai.
MUNNA BHAI : Aye Circuit, woh Sabrina ka baap aya hai tere ko dund rehla hai.
CIRCUIT : Bhai usko bolo apun gaoon gayea hai, kheti karne ko.
MUNNA BHAI : Par Circuit, abhi to tu bola kabhi jhoot nehin bolega.
CIRCUIT :Bhai, apun jhoot nehin bolega, par tum to bol sakta hai na.

CIRCUIT : Bhai, woh apnay bachpan ka dost aarehla hai aaj raat ko dinner pe. Mera sara chain collection apnay kamray mein chupa do na please.
MUNNABHAI : Kyun tera dost chor hai kya?
CIRCUIT :  Nehin Bhai, woh apnay chain pechan lega.

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MUNNA BHAI : Circuit, bole toh yeh Ford kya hai?
CIRCUIT : Bhai, gaadi hai.
MUNNA BHAI : Toh phir, yeh Oxford kya hai?
CIRCUIT : Bole toh, simple hai bhai, Ox mane Bael, Ford mane gaadi. Oxford bole toh Baelgaadi.

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CIRCUIT : Oye Short Circuit yeh light bulb pe baap ka naam kya likh raha hai?
SHORT CIRCUIT : Apun baap ka naam roshan kar rehle hai.

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PRINCIPAL : Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein gaya toh first time 100 Rs fine, 2nd time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500.
MUNNA BHAI : Boley to Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu

Read more: Munna Bhai Jokes Collection 1