Mulla Nasruddin Short Jokes Collection - Part 7

1. "Oh, what a funny-looking cow," the young city-girl said to Mulla Nasrudin. "There are many
reasons," said Nasrudin, "why a cow does not have horns. Some do not grow them until late in
life. Others are dehorned. Some breeds are not supposed to have horns. AND, THIS
PARTICULAR COW DOES NOT HAVE HORNS BECAUSE IT IS A HORSE!"


2. Mulla Nasrudin thought he was going to die with a toothache. He asked his friend, "What can I
do to relieve the pain?" "I will tell you what I do," his friend said.

"When I have a toothache, or a pain, I go over to my wife, and she puts her arms around me, and caresses me, and soothes
me until finally I forget all about the pain." Nasrudin brightened up and said: "GEE, THAT'S
WONDERFUL! IS SHE HOME NOW?"


3. A well-known dead-beat caught Mulla Nasrudin on the street one day before the Mulla could
duck. "I am really in a jam and need money," he said to the Mulla," and I have not any idea
where I am going to get some."

"I AM SURE GLAD TO HEAR THAT," said Nasrudin. "I WAS AFRAID YOU MIGHT HAVE THE MISTAKEN IDEA YOU COULD BORROW SOME FROM ME."


4. Mulla Nasrudin was telling his friends in the tavern one day about his family. "Nine boys," he said, "and all good, except Abdul. HE LEARNED TO READ."


5. Mulla Nasrudin came home and was told by his wife that the cook had quit. "Again?" moaned
the Mulla. "What was the matter this time?" "You were!" said his wife.

"She said you used insulting language to her over the phone this morning." "GOOD GRIEF! " said Nasrudin. "I AM
SORRY, I THOUGHT I WAS TALKING TO YOU. "



6. The bus was crowded when the little old lady got on, and Mulla Nasrudin stood up. She pushed
the Mulla back gently and said, "No, thanks." Nasrudin tried to rise again and she pushed him
back a second time.

Finally, Nasrudin said to her, "PLEASE LET ME GET UP, LADY, I AM TWO BLOCKS PAST MY S NOW."


7. A member of the finance committee called on Mulla Nasrudin. "I am calling about the yearly
contribution to the fund for converting the heathen," he said. "last year you gave a rupee."
"WHAT!" said Nasrudin in surprise "HAVEN'T YOU CONVERTED THEM YET?"



8. Mulla Nasrudin lived far beyond his means and was constantly hounded by his creditors. But he
was so used to them that their presence caused him no distress. In fact, he treated them with
the utmost courtesy.

Once he even served a bill collector champagne. "If you cannot afford to
pay your debts," the bill collector demanded, "how can you afford to serve champagne?"
"DON'T GET SORE," said Nasrudin, "I ASSURE YOU, THIS HASN'T BEEN PAID FOR EITHER,
SIR."



9. Mulla Nasrudin had been working day and night throughout his district in a life or death
struggle for reelection. He was relaxing one evening, following a speech, in the home of a
friend.

"I have heard your speeches," his friend said, "but I think the real question is what will
you do if you are reelected." "NO," said Nasrudin, "THE REAL QUESTION IS WHAT WILL I DO IF
I AM NOT."


10. A young preacher was just getting acquainted with his duties. One of his first chores was to
visit the hospital where Mulla Nasrudin, a member of his flock, was confined as a result of an
automobile accident. The Mulla had been seriously injured: a broken leg, both arms broken, a
broken collar bone, terrible cuts over his face and head, and several broken ribs.

He was so thoroughly bandaged and taped and strapped up that only his two eyes and mouth were
showing. The young preacher was at a loss for words, but realized that he must say something,
so he asked the Mulla: "How do you feel today? I suppose all of those broken bones and cuts
cause a great deal of pain.

Do you suffer very much?" "NO, NOT MUCH," said Nasrudin, "ONLY WHEN I LAUGH."

Read more: Mulla Nasruddin Short Jokes Collection - Part 7

Mulla Nasruddin Donkey Jokes

A neighbor who Nasruddin didn't like very much came over to his compound one day. The neighbor asked Nasruddin if he could borrow his donkey. Nasruddin not wanting to lend his donkey to the neighbor he didn't like told him, "I would love to loan you my donkey but only yesterday my brother came from the next town to use it to carry his wheat to the mill to be grounded. The donkey sadly is
not here."


The neighbor was disappointed. But he thanked Nasruddin and began to walk away. Just as he got a few steps away, Mullah Nasruddin's donkey, which was in the back of his compound all the time, let out a big bray. The neighbor turned to Nasruddin and said, "Mullah Sahib, I thought you told me that your donkey was not here.


Mullah Nasruddin turned to the neighbor and said, "My friend, who are you going to believe? Me or the donkey?


Nasrudin was riding along one day when his donkey took fright at something in its path and started to bolt. As he sped past them at an unaccustomed pace some countrymen called out: 'Where are you going,O Nasrudin, so fast?'
'Mullah shouted, 'don't ask me, ask my donkey!"


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Mulla Nasruddin Short Jokes Collection - Part 2

1. One night, Mulla Nasrudin's father noticed a light in his barn. He went to see what it was all about and he found Nasrudin with a lantern, all dressed up. "What are you doing all dressed up
and with that lantern?" asked his father. "I am going to call on my girlfriend, Dad," said Nasrudin.

"I have got to go through the woods and it is dark." "When I was your age calling on my wife for the first time," said the father, "I went through the woods without a lantern."

"I KNOW," said Nasrudin, "BUT LOOK WHAT YOU GOT, DAD!"

2. "Darling," said the young woman,"I could die for your sake." "YOU ARE ALWAYS PROMISING THAT," said Mulla Nasrudin, "BUT YOU NEVER DO IT."

3. Mulla Nasrudin, who was really unaccustomed to public speaking, arose in confusion after dinner and muttered hesitatingly: "M-m-my f-f-friends, when I came here tonight only God and
myself knew what I was about to say to you AND NOW ONLY GOD KNOWS!"

4. After the bride's first dinner, she asked her husband, Mulla Nasrudin, "Now, dear, what will I get if I cook a dinner like that for you everyday?" "MY LIFE INSURANCE," said Nasrudin.

5. Mulla Nasrudin's young wife, recently returned from her honeymoon, was complaining to her friend about her husband's drinking habits. "If you knew he drank, why did you marry him?" her friend asked.

"I DID NOT KNOW HE DRANK," said Nasrudin's wife, "UNTIL ONE NIGHT HE CAME HOME SOBER."

6. Mulla Nasrudin, who had just passed his test for his first-aid certificate, was on his way home. Suddenly, he saw a man lying face down in the street. Without a second thought, he threw
himself upon the man and began applying artificial respiration. After a while, the man raised his head and said, "SIR, I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TRYING TO DO, BUT I AM TRYING TO FISH
A WIRE DOWN THIS MANHOLE."

7. Mulla Nasrudin was drunk and at a football game was making such a nuisance of himself that the people around him threatened to call the police if he didn't sit down and shut up. At that he shouted, "show me a policeman, and I will show you a dope." The words were no sooner spoken when a big six-foot policeman arrived on the scene and said: "I am a policeman."

"WONDERFUL!" said Nasrudin. "I AM A DOPE!"

8. The lady contributed to Mulla Nasrudin on crutches, but could not resist the temptation to preach to him. "It must be terrible to be lame," she said, "but think how much worse it is to be
blind."

"That's right, Lady," said the Mulla. "WHEN I WAS BLIND, PEOPLE KEPT PASSING COUNTERFEIT MONEY OFF ON ME."

9. The young father was pushing the crying baby down the street with what appeared to be absolute calm and self-assurance. People on the street could hear what he was saying as he
passed. "Take it easy, Nasrudin," he said. "Don't let it get you down, Nasrudin, you will soon be safe back home. Things will be all right, Nasrudin, if you just keep calm."

One motherly type woman waiting for a bus, heard and saw the young father and said to him, "I think you are wonderful the way you are taking care of the baby." Then she leaned over to the baby and said,
"Now, don't cry, Nasrudin, everything is going to be all right."

"LADY," said the father, "YOU HAVE GOT IT ALL WRONG. HIS NAME IS TOMMY -- I AM NASRUDIN."

10. "I don't guess I have anything to complain about," said the mussed up young man, Mulla Nasrudin, as he listened to another mussed up young man describe his ejection from a dance
hall. "They treated me all right." "What do you mean, treated you all right," said the other young man. "They threw you out, didn't they?" "Yes," said Nasrudin, "They threw me out the
back door, but when I told the bouncer that my family was in the social register, he picked me up gently, brushed me off, and escorted me back into the dance hall. THEN HE THREW ME OUT
THE FRONT DOOR."


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The Doctor's Cure

One day Molla fell seriously ill. His wife became very frightened and, thinking Molla might die, ran for the doctor.
"Oh, Doctor, my husband is gravely ill. We're very poor and have many children. I'm afraid something might happen to
him, and then who will take care of the children?"

On hearing the word "poor," the doctor replied, "Why do you create problems for the poor man? Even if I prescribed
medicine for him, how would you pay for it if you don't have any money?"

The wife returned home and told Molla. A few days later Molla recovered. Soon, he headed off to the doctor. "I've
come to say 'thank you.' I've recovered, thanks to you."

The doctor replied, "How's that? I didn't treat you."

"And that's the very reason I recovered. Had your ugly breath touched me that day, who knows which cemetery I
would be lying in today?"

Read more: The Doctor's Cure

The Pot

Nasreddin borrowed a pot from his friend. The next day, he gave the pot back to the
friend, and also gave him another smaller pot. The friend looked at the small pot, and
said, €œWhat is that?€

€œYour pot gave birth while I had it,€ Nasreddin replied, €œso I am giving you its child.€
The friend was glad to receive the bonus, and didn€™t ask any more questions.

A week later, Nasreddin borrowed the original pot from the friend. After a week
passed, the friend asked Nasreddin to return it.
€œI cannot,€ Nasreddin said.
€œWhy not?€ the friend replied.
€œWell,€ Nasreddin answered, €œI hate to be the bearer of bad news€¦but your pot has died.€

€œWhat?€ the friend asked with skepticism. €œA pot cannot die!€
€œYou believed it gave birth,€ Nasreddin said, €œso why is it that you cannot believe it has died.€

Read more: The Pot

Sack of Vegetables

Nasruddin snuck into someone€™s garden and began putting vegetables in his sack. The owner saw him and shouted, €œWhat are you doing in my garden?€

Nasruddin confidently responded, €œThe wind blew me here.€

€œThat sounds incredible to me,€ the man replied, €œbut let€™s assume that the wind did blow you here. Now then, how can you explain how those vegetables were pulled out from my garden?€

€œOh, that€™s simple,€ Nasreddin responded. €œI had to grab them to stop myself from being thrown any further by the wind.€

€œWell,€ the man continued, €œthen tell me this€”how did the vegetables get in your sack?€

€œYou know what,€ Nasreddin said, €œI was just standing here and wondering that same thing myself!€


Read more: Sack of Vegetables