Shayari

Suno gaur se 'Pepsi' walo. Buri nazar na 'Coke' pe dalo, Chahe jitna 'Dew' pila lo, Sabse aage hoga 'Nimbu Pani' Hum toh hain poore 'Hindustani'

 

Abhi to dosti shuru ki hai, Waqt aane par dosti ka farz bhi nibhayenge, Dil par patthar rakhkar, Ek din hum khud tumhe MENTAL HOSPITAL chod aayenge!!

 

Ek khwab, ek khayal, ek hakikat ho tum, Dosti me padnewali har jarurat ho tum, Jisko roj ek sms karna pade, Kya yar ajib musibat ho tum....

 

Tum Apun Ko Itna SmS Karta Hai! Apun Ko REPLY Karne Ko Majboor Karta Hai! Kya Iske Peeche Koi PLAN Hai? Ya Auro Ki TarAh Tum Bhi Apun Ka FAN Hai?

 

Hawa mey bindaas udd raha tha ghalib Wah! Wah! Hawa mey azaad udd raha tha ghalib Bahut Khoob! Hawa mey betaab udd raha tha ghalib Ruk gayi hawa, gir gaya ghalib!

 

Shehar ki Gali mein paan ki dukan, devdas ne dekhi paro ki muskan, devdas ne khilaya paro ko paan, khake paan paro boli, "shukriya Bhaijaan"

 

Dastur-e-wafa hum is tarah nibhayenge, Tum roz khafa hona, hum roz manayenge, Teri dosti ka sila hum is tara nibhayenge, shadi ho teri aur dulhan hum le jayenge!!

 

Dil k dard ko zuba par laate nahi, hum apni aankhon se ansu bahate nahi, Zakhm chahe kitne hi gahre kyo na ho, Hum DETTOL k siva kuch laagate nahi.


Hajaron Honge Nigahon Mein, Kabhi Hame Bhi Toh Pick Karo, Hamare Dil Ke Icon Par Bhi Toh Kabhi Double Click Karo

 

Macchar jo kaate apko toh mat hona hairaan. wah wah wah! Macchar jo kaate apko toh mat hona hairaan, Anjaane mey hee sahi, Aap kar rahe hai Rakth Daan. Wah Wah...

 

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Politics

One day, a Russian, an English, and  an Indian were arrested in Indonesia. The king said he will grant each of them a wish.

The Russian asked that the first person in space be Russian and it happened: Yuri Gagarin.

The English person wished that his country rule more than half of the world, and it happened: British Empire.

The Indonesian king said he felt pity on Indians so he would give him two wishes.

The Indian asked he get 400 whips. The king was surprised and asked if the Indian was sure. He said yes. The Indian told the king to wait and listen to his second wish first. "When I am whipped, I want the English person to be tied to my back."

 

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Indian Hell

Indian Hell: An Indian dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country. He goes first to the German hell and asks "What do they do here?" He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."

The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves on. He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more. He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell.

Then he comes to the Indian hell and finds that there is a very long line of people waiting to get in. Amazed he asks "What do they do here?" He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour.Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Indian devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."

But that is exactly the same as all the other hells - why are there so many people waiting to get in? "Because maintenance is so bad thatthe electric chair does not work, someone has
stolen all the nails from the bed, and the devil is a former Govt servant, so he comes in, signs the register and then goes to the cafeteria..."


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Manu Jokes

Teacher: Why are you late?
Manu: Because of the sign.
Teacher: What sign?
Manu: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

Teacher: Johny, how do you spell "crocodile"?
Manu: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
Teacher: No, that's wrong
Manu: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!

Teacher: Johny, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. Manu: Me!

Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?" Manu: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day same time."

Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would
I be showing?
Manu: Brotherly love.

Teacher: Now, Johny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
Manu: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.

Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Manu: A teacher



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Indian Joint Ventures

10. A chain of "Bhaskar-RaoBins" ice cream stores all over the country, in collaboration with Baskin Robins.

9. Kraft will make "PARAMESAN CHEESE" at Madras, in collaboration with Parameswaran & Co.

8. Kentucky Fried Chicken will open its chain of Indian version, to be named, "KARNATAKI FLY-ED CHICKEN" and will be headquartered at Bangalore.

7. Pizza Hut will open a chain, in the back alleys of all cities, its version, to be named:"PICHHE HUT". Headquarters: Kanpur. PICHHE = means back-alleys for the uneducated

6. McDonalds will open its fast food restaurants to be named: "McDosalu". Hqs. Hyderabad. Main menu: Idli and Dosa.

5. Mr. Submarine will name its restaurants as "Mr. SUBRAMANI", to be headquartered at Madras.

4. Red Carpets coloured with biodegradable (hence environmentally friendly) red PAAN. Juice extracts will enjoy duty-free status in US.

3. Dallas Cowboys will own a new franchise: Dilli's COW-BHAIS, to teach Indians how to play Football.... with hands.

2. Duty-free import of Ambassador cars into USA, as long as they are not used outside of Demolition Derby.

1. Internal Revenue Service will provide technology transfer of its Tax System software to Indian Income Tax Dept and to be named: "UNCLE SHYAM".

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Driving in India - Another Look

Ah, driving in India. Or at least riding in the back of taxis and tuk-tuks. Once you get over the initial fear of the death, it's really quite amazing. To be certain, it is an art form and talent possessed by a billion people. To be even more certain, they make Miami drivers look good. To be even more certain yet, it's better than any roller coaster ride in the States.
If you were coming from the States, and felt the utterly insane urge to take up the extreme sport of driving, you must first take every rule of the road you ever learned and throw it out the window. Your driver's license means nothing.

THE BASICS

India driving is essentially demolition derby with only maybe three percent of the demolition. Start off with the fact that the steering wheel is on the right and you drive on the left. For us, this is no longer an issue as we have had that in every country for the past seven months. Fortunately for you, the new driver, having to drive on the left here is really only a guideline, not the rule. If traffic is getting too sticky, or the right run you want to make is only a few hundred yards up the road, no problem! Just pull into oncoming traffic and do whatever you want. Do not worry, most of the time everyone will swerve at the last second.

Read about it here

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