Laloo in Hell

Once PVNR (PV Narasimha Rao), L.K.Advani and Laloo Prasad Yadav were travelling in an autorickshaw. They met with an accident and all three of them died. Yama Raja was waiting for this moment at the doorstep of death. He asks PVNR and Advani to go to HEAVEN. But, for Laloo, Yama had already decided that he should be sent to HELL.

Laloo is not at all happy with this decision. He asks Yama as to why this discrimination is being made. All the three of them had served the public. Similarly, all took bribes, all misused public positions, etc. Then why the differential treatment? He felt that there should be a formal test or an objective evaluation before a decision is made; and should not be just based on opinion or pre-conceived notions. Yama agrees to this and asks all the three of them to appear for an English test.

PVNR is asked to spell " INDIA " and he does it correctly. Advani is asked to spell " ENGLAND " and he too passes. It is Laloo's turn and he is asked to spell " CZECHOSLOVAKIA ". Laloo protests that he doesn't know English. He says this is not fair and that he was given a tough question and thus forced to fail with false intent.

Yama then agrees to conduct a written test in Hindi (to give another chance assuming that Laloo should at least feel that Hindi would provide an equal platform for all three). PVNR is asked to write "KUTTA BOLA BHOW BHOW". He writes it easily and passes. Advani is asked to write "BILLY BOLI MYAUN MYAUN". He too passes. Laloo is asked to write "BANDAR BOLA GURRRRRR.... ." Tough one. He fails again. Laloo is extremely unhappy.

Having been a student of history (which the other two weren't),he now requested for all the 3 to be subjected to a test in history Yama says OK but this would be the last chance and that he would not take any more tests. PVNR is asked: "When did India get Independence ?". He replied "1947" and passed. Advani is asked "How many people died during the independence struggle?". He gets nervous. Yama asked him to choose from 3 options: 100,000 or 200,000 or 300,000. Advani catches it and says 200,000 and passes. It's Laloo's turn now. Yama asks him to give the Name and Address of each of the 200,000 who died in the struggle. Laloo accepts defeat and agrees to go to HELL.

Moral of the story: IF YOUR MANAGEMENT HAS DECIDED TO SCREW YOU, THERE IS NO ESCAPE

 

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Laloo's Photo

After becoming the CM of Bihar, Lalooji decides to pose for a picture along with a herb of buffaloes with his elbows resting on the back of the cattle.

Next day the photo appears in the newspaper with a caption

"Lalooji, third from left"


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What if Laloo became Prime Minister of India?

What would be changed if Laloo Prasad becomes India's Prime Minister:


1. National Anthem : Khana Pina Adhik Zaroorat hai...
2. National Attire : Dhoti & Kurta
3. National Drink : Fresh Buffalo Milk
4. National Animal : Buffalo, from Bihar
5. National Sport : Milking Buffalo (morning) Buffalo Race (evening)
6. Corporate Language : Enlish-va
7. National Toy : A. K. 58
8. National Family Planning Policy : Hum Do, Humare Dozen
9. National Documentry Film : Laloo Ban Gaya Gentleman
10. National Vehicle : Buffalo Cart
11. National Recreation : Pro-creation

Laloo's Slogan:

Jab Tak Rahega Samosa Me Aloo,
Tab Tak Rahega Hamara P.M. Laloo


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Laloo and the Magic of Numbers

A British Diplomat paid a courtesy visit to Lalloojee. During a party, he thought of entertaining Lalloojee with the following magic of numbers.
He said, "Your excellency, Look at the value of the alphabet:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26

Now, look at this Sir, if we calculate together it will be:

H A R D W O R K
8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98 % Only

K N O W L E D G E
11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96 % Only

L O B B Y I N G
12 15 2 2 25 9 14 7 = 86 % Only

L U C K
12 21 3 11 = 47 % Only

Sir, you should look at the final one, which is most important.
A T T I T U D E
1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100 %

Sir, do you find it useful? This magic can work on your people to improve themselves, increase productivity, and make your country prosperous. Sir, I can arrange to send our experts to coach your people. We can do it in less than a year"

Lalloojee thought for a while; and said, "I have better formula. See this......

C O R R U P T I O N
3 15 18 21 16 9 15 14 = 111 %

Do you want me to come and teach your people? I can do it in less than one week."


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Laloo in South India

Laloo, Rabri and his son were returning from south by train.

Laloo was occupying the lower berth, Rabri the middle berth and his son the top most berth in the train compartment.

The train stopped at one of the stations on the way back and the son asked Laloo to bring him a Cadburys chocolate. When Laloo and his son returned they found that a South Indian who couldn't understand Hindi had occupied his son's berth.

Upset and angry, Laloo called the Ticket checker & asked him to help. The Ticket checker said that he could not understand Hindi or Bihari so it would be nice if Laloo explained the whole situation to him in English.

So Laloo explained, "That man sleeping on top of my wife is not giving birth to my child."


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Short Laloo Jokes

Once Laloo wanted to know the time difference between Bihar and Las Vegas. So he called up the Tourist department and asked them "Ji could you tell me the time difference between Patna and Las Begas...".
The man at the other end replies "One second sir..." and Laloo immediately replies "thank you" and puts the phone down.

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Laloos family planning policy..   "Don't have more than two children in one year"

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At a bar in New York, the man to Laloo's left tells the bartender,   "JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE." & the man's companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE." The bartender approaches Laloo and asks, "AND YOU, SIR?"  Laloo replies: "LALOO YADAV, MARRIED."

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After having resigned as the CM of Bihar, Laloo decides to go modelling.

Once he enters the herd of buffaloes and resting his elbow on the back of the cattle he poses for a photograph. Next day the photo appears on the front page of a newspaper.

GUESS THE CAPTION !!

"Laloo, third from left!"


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