Digital Ramayana

PART-I

LAN, LAN ago, in the land of I/O-dhya, there ruled a king named
DOS-rat. Three queens had he - CONSOLE-ya, CHECKSUM-itra and CIE/CAE
(Kaikeyi). However, he had no line drivers - i.e. no one to perpetuate
his line. In sheer desperation, he performed a great sacrifice after
which his queens gave birth to four sons - RAM, LSIman, BUG-rat and
SED-rughana.

RAM was a microchip off the old block - he had an excellent
memory, he logged in quickly and semi-conducted himself in a manner fit
for a king. His brothers,  however, were only perpheralI ICs; everytime
RAM addressed them, they said, "I-C". Once when RAM was only sixteen
years old, the great sage Vish-WAN-mitra sought his help to fight some
DAEMONs  who  persistently  RAIDed  his hermitage.  After a brief
collision, RAM routed them so easily that he came to be called DAEMON
ROUTER.

RAM then proceeded to Media, where he married Pricess C+ta.
C+ta's sisters, who were not her blood sisters and hence called
TRAN-sisters, married RAM's ICs. This ceremony came to be known as TTL.
On the way back to I/O-dhya,  the entourage met Parasu-ROM (or
P-ROM as he was better known), the scourge of the kshatriyas. Taking up
the P-ROM challenge, RAM aimed an arrow at him; he threatened to take
away P-ROM's powers of locomotion, thereby converting him to Static RAM.
P-ROM humbly withdrew and the procession reached I/O-dhya.


Twelve years passed and DOS-rat decided to crown
RAM as his successor. However, CIE/CAE, at the
instigation of her BIOSed maid MANtharai(a real
plotter), insisted that her son Bug-rat be crowned king and that RAM
be banished to the FOR(;;)est for fourteen years. At this cruel and
unexpected demAND, a surge passed thru DOS-rat and he  CRASHED,
power-less.

RAM agreed to go to FOR(;;)est and C+ta insisted to go with him.
She said that at the time of her marriage, her father had advised her
to follow the footsteps of her husband like a shadow, hence, she came to be
called SHADOW-RAM.

LSI-man was also resolved on accompanying his
brother as a SLAVE LSI. Unable to bear separation,
DOS-rat died, setting the precedent that no  system  could function
in the absence of RAM. The forest was the dwelling of SPARC-nakha, the
sister of RAW-van, King of LAN-ka. Attracted by RAM's stature, she
proposed that he marry her. RAM routed her to LSI-man, who also politely
declined. Perceiving C+ta to be the source code of her distress, she
hastened to kill her.

At this stage LSI-man executed the Memory resident
code and converted SPARC-naak to SPARC-no-naak. He
TRUNCATED her nose.

Weeping, SPARC-no-naak fled to LAN-ka, where RAW-van, moved
by sisters plight, approached his uncle MAR-icha.
Ignoring MAR-icha's compilation warnings not to RISC SPARC-ing
a war with RAM, he insisted on going ahead.  Accordingly, MAR-icha
transformed himself into the form of golden sTAG and drew RAM deep into
the forest.

Finally, tired of chase, RAM shot the deer, who, with his last
breath, cried out desperately for LSI-man in RAM's voice. Fooled by this
Virtual RAM cry, C+ta urged LSI-man to his brothers aid. Catching the
opportunity, RAW-van delinked C+ta from her library and changed her root
directory to LAN-ka by BROADCASTING her over sky.

  
PART-II

RAM and LSI-man started FINDing for the missing
i-node, c+ta all  over the forest. They made
friendship with the forest admin SU-greev and his
powerful co-processor ha-NEUMAN.

ha-NEUMAN was a legendary figure. He had a swollen
cheek  ARCHITECTURE. He was a child
prodigy and  came up with newer methedologies and
techniques which inspired many others.In particular his RAM mantra
technique became extremely popular for generations.

SU-greev agreed to help RAM but first wanted help
from RAM to  delete  his  own root node VAALI.(
valli?) SU-greev's intention was obvious. He wanted to be the
only admin around & wanted to grab all the consulting jobs in the
forest.
 

RAM fought with VALLI and surprised him using some un-documented
features.VALLI cried foul and started complaining to the justice
department saying that it was not a fair fight.RAM then convinced everyone
using his trademark MICRO SOFT WORDs coupled with a few FREE vedic
goodies.Though some of the onlookers such as ORACLE (seer)and pancha bhutas
such as SUN, disagreed with RAM's micro soft touch,they all shut their
mouths fearing RAM's reach among the user community.

SU-greev was happy with the outcome and ordered his programmers to
use powerful 'search' techniques to find the missing c+ta. His programmers
searched all around the INTER-NETworked forests. Some of them shouted
'YAA-HOO' but ended up with 'not found' messages. Several other search
 techniques proved useless.

ha-NEUMAN using a radically different paradigm devised a RISKy
technology and used it to cross the seas at astonishing clock speeds.
On the way he bumped with a few satellite signals but was able to avoid
deflections due to his own high strength. As soon as ha-NEUMAN reached
LAN-ka, he had to collide  with  its firewall called LAN-ki. The
firewall made disperate attempts to stop ha-NEUMAN entering into its
internal web, but the great ha-NEUMAN  detected  a  loop hole in
LAN-ki's firewall. Using micro code, he broke the security and entered
LAN-ka.

After doing some local search, ha-NEUMAN found C+ta weeping under
the weight of a TREE structure. ha-NEUMAN used a unique key-id (ring)
to identify himself to C+ta. After decrypting the key, C+ta believed
in him and asked him to send a STATUS_OK message to RAM through RING
topology.

Meanwhile all the raakshasa BUGS around C+ta tied ha-NEUMAN  and
tried to terminate  him using pyro-techniques. But ha-NEUMAN managed
to spread chaos among the raakshasas by SPAMMING the fire using some
side effects.

Several raakshasa programmers were later called to restore  the
operational stability in LAN-ka. ha-NEUMAN happily escaped LAN-ka again
and conveyed all the STATUS messages to RAM and SU-greev.

RAM felt happy with ha-NEUMAN's methedology of
execution and embarked on a project code named
EXPLORER to delete the netESCAPING RAW-wan. He even  
created a bridge and GATEWAY to acess LAN-ka network

In the mean time, signs were apparent in LAN-ka about the
imminent danger from RAM's project EXPLORER, but RAW-wan refused to
budge.

Sensing disaster, his own  sub-program  called
vibhee-SHUN,  executed  a 'GO TO'  statement and
branched out to RAM's camp. RAW-wan still insisted on taking the
all powerful RAM head-on. He decided to use the boons given to him by SUN,
sHIVa etc.and prepared for the battle on a remote island on LAN-ka
called JAVA.

He thought that his presence in JAVA will give him victory over RAM.
RAM and his entourage made small and buggy progress in the
begining but the world community on the whole started watching them with
awe. In the battle on JAVA island, it appeared initially that RAM had no
chance.

In fact one of the RAW-wan's SUN indrajIT(son)
almost killed RAM & LSI-man with a powerful brahma-astra called
JAVA-BEAN. It appeared for a while that the world has seen the end of
RAM's MICRO SOFT touch. But ha-NEUMAN resorted to some
ACTIVE-Xgradients from HILL GATES and concocted a potion using some herbs.

His powerful HERBAL-COMPUTER aided him in making this potion which
restarted RAM and LSI-man.Appearing, reluctant RAM used the source code
secrets of RAW-wan given by vibhee-SHUN and once
and for all wiped out RAW-wan's presense on the
earth. Before that he even SCHEDULED RAW-wan to come
next   day when all his resources were locked up bu RAM's virus
weapons He proved again that even the so called
invincible RAW-wan cannot be netESCAPED from his power.

After the battle, RAM spreaded his MICRO SOFT WORKS and other user
friendly programs to all users across the world and every one
lived happily thereafter.

END OF DIGITAL RAMAYANA


 

More IT Jokes
Indian Jokes
Bollywood Jokes