Azhar's Batting

Indian Team Manager : "Hello"(over Phone)

Caller :"Can I talk to Azharuddin Please,I am his friend and
calling from Hyderabad."

Indian Team Manager:"Sorry,he went to bat"

Azharuddin's friend:"No Problem Manager, I will Hold on"

Read more: Azhar's Batting

What Cricketers talk on the pitch

At the start of the Indian innings(280 required for a win),
Ganguly to Ramesh "I am not comfortable with Akhtar's pace. So I
will attack Akram and u take care of Akhtar."
 
After 4 overs(with hardly any runs on the board),
Ramesh to Ganguly "These guys are bowling very fast. We will see
them off and then attack Mahmood and Saqlain."
 
After 13 overs(when Azhar Mahmood and Saqlain were bowling),
Ganguly to Dravid "I don't think we can score off these guys as
well. We will wait for Arshad Khan and Shahid Afridi. Surely we can easily
attack them. After all, Shahid Afridi is a part-time bowler."
 
After Afridi bowled some overs,
Dravid to Robin Singh "Don't worry, Robin. I heard that England
bowlers are easier to score off. We will play out 50 overs and attack in the
next match."
 
At the end of the match,
Joshi to Mongia "Why didn't u try to force the pace?"
 
Mongia to Joshi "No, yaar. If I try to force the pace against these
bowlers, I will get out. There is only one way by which I can score runs fastly without getting out."
 
Joshi to Mongia "What is it?"
 
Mongia to Joshi " You have to bowl to me."

Read more: What Cricketers talk on the pitch

Cricketers in Disguise

After the shameful defeat of Indian cricket team in
final of PEPSI CUP 99 in Bangalore, the team members were not able to
show their faces to people and they chose not to go in public and
rather just pack up in hotel rooms.

Dravid could not resist for too long to be in hometown and still not be
able to go out shopping and have fun. So he disguises himself as a
Sardar and goes out. he meets a woman at the exit of the hotel who greets
him "Hi Dravid!"

Surprised for having been caught he comes back and
makes himself up as a muslim woman - in Burkha etc and goes out. Yet same
again - the same woman greets him "Hi Dravid!".

Dravid comes back determined to give it yet another
try with the make up of a Hippie wig and shorts etc. All in vain
- the same lady catches him again and greets him "Hi Dravid!".
Bewildered by now, he could not help asking,

"How did you recongise me?"

The lady replied - "I am Javagal Srinath!"

Read more: Cricketers in Disguise

New Rules for Indian Cricket

1) Declaring the winner: If Pakistan bats first and scores x runs then
the target for India will be revised to x/2. They need to score (x/2)+1
runs to be declared winner. If India bats first then the number of overs
for Pakistan will be reduced to 25. Even after these modifications India
contrive to lose, they will be awarded psychological victory.

2) Fielding restrictions: When India is fielding, as soon as any fielder
touches the ball, it will be deemed as dead ball and Pakistan batsmen
will only be allowed to complete that run. This modification is being
done to eliminate time being wasted for overthrows etc.

3) By popular demand from Indian players, a few additional coaches have
been included in the touring party with immediate effect. They are,
Batting coach : Ravi Shastri
Bowling Coach(with experience in Sharjah conditions) : Chetan
Sharma
Fielding Coach : Ravi Shastri(Dual responsibility)
TV Commercials Coach : Salman Khan
Video Coach : Name will be announced later

4) As the deadline to submit final 15 players for the 1999 World Cup is
over, the result of the match on 18th April between 1983 Indian team and
the current team will not have any bearing on the team going to England.

Any other suggestions are welcome. We at the ICC would like to
ascertain again our commitment to spread the game of cricket globally, from Mozambique to Maldives and from Turkmenistan to Tibet.

Thanking You.
Yours Sincerely,
Jagmohan Dalmiya

Read more: New Rules for Indian Cricket

Cricket and Divorce

DIVORCE COURT SCENE :
The Judge (J.) asks the little girl (LG):
Now that your parents are getting divorced do you want to live
with your mummy?
LG - No, my mummy beats me.
J. - Well then, I guess you want to live with your daddy.
LG - No, my daddy beats me too.
J. - Well then, who do you want to live with?
LG - I want to live with the Indian Cricket team, they never
beat anybody !!!

Read more: Cricket and Divorce