The Berth

Mister Nene, his wife and his son were returning by train to home in Maharastra after taking a trip of South India.

Mister Nene was occupying the lower berth, his wife had the middle berth and his son the top most berth in the train.

When the train stopped at one of the stations on the way, the son requested his father to buy him a cup of ice cream to which he readily agreed and got off the train.

When they returned, they found that a Gujju bhai who couldn't understand Hindi or Marathi had occupied his son's berth.

Outraged, Mister Nene called the TT and asked him to help.

TT was a South Indian who stated that he could not understand Hindi, Marathi or Gujarati so it would be better if Mister Nene explained the whole situation to him in English.

So Mr. Nene explained, "That man sleeping on top of my wife is not giving birth to my child."

Read more: The Berth

Ear Drops

A Gujju woman took her baby to a doctor, who determined right away that the baby had an earache.

He wrote a prescription for ear drops. In the directions he wrote,
"Put two drops in right ear every four hours" and he abbreviated "right" as an R with a circle around it.

Several days passed, and the woman returned with her baby, complaining that the baby still had an earache, and his little behind was getting really greasy with all those drops of oil.

The doctor looked at the bottle of ear drops and sure enough,
the pharmacist,had typed the following instructions on the label:
"Put two drops in R ear every four hours.

Read more: Ear Drops

Business is Business

A young Gujju boy starts attending public school in a small town.

The teacher of the one-room school decides to use her position to try to influence the new student.

She asks the class, "Who was the greatest man that ever lived?"

A girl raises her hand and says,

"I think George Washington was the greatest man that ever lived because he is the Father of our country."

The teacher replies, "Well...that's a good answer, but that's not the answer I am looking for."

Another young student raises his hand and says,

"I think Abraham Lincoln was the greatest man that lived because he freed the slaves and helped end the civil war."

"Well, that's another good answer, but that is not the one I was looking for."

Then the Gujju boy raises his hand and says, "I think Jesus Christ was the greatest man that ever lived."

The teacher's mouth drops open in astonishment. "Yes!", she says, that's the answer I was looking for."

She then brings him up to the front of the classroom and gives him a lollipop.

Later, during recess, another desi boy approaches him as he is licking his lollipop.

He says, "Why did you say, 'Jesus Christ'?"

The Gujju boy stops licking his lollipop and replies,

"Look, I know it's Krishna, and YOU know it's Krishna, but business is business."

Read more: Business is Business

The Ransom

A Gujarati bhai spent the night in his secretary's apartment.

He woke up at three in the morning.

"My God!" he shouted, "My wife is going to kill me!"

Unsure of how he would explain it, he ran to the nearest pay phone and called his wife.

"Muna ni ba ", he began, "Don't pay the ransom. I escaped!"

Read more: The Ransom

The Accident

There was once a Gujarati living in USA called Raju Patel, who was involved in a car accident.

At the hospital, when he awoke, he called for the nurse to tell him what had happened to him.

"I'm very sorry, sir, but you were involved in a very bad car crash."

"Car crash! My Porsche! Is my car all right?" he asked hysterically.

"Sir, your car was destroyed, but that is the least of your worries - you lost your left arm in the crash, and we were unable to save it," she said apologetically.

"I lost my arm? My Rolex! My Rolex!"

"Sir, please calm down. That is the least of your worries.

You are in a very critical condition, but all your family are here to see you."

He asked for his family to be called in.

As they gathered around the bed, he called for each of them by name. "Shilpa, are you here?"

"I am here husband, and I will never leave you."

"Dilip, are you here?"

"I am here father, and I will never leave you."

"Anil, are you here?"

"I am here father, and I will never leave you."

"Priya, my child, are you here?"

"I am here father, and I will never leave you."

"Well," said Raju thoughtfully, "if Shilpa, Dilip, Anil and Priya are here..... WHO THE HELL IS IN THE SHOP?

Read more: The Accident

The Gujju and Free Ride

Ramjibhai was downtown with his wife and four little children when he decided to take a Rickshaw home.

Approaching a Rickshaw driver, he demanded, "How much will you charge to drive us to the Ghatkopar ?"

"I figure Rupees 2/- apiece for you and your wife," said the driver.

"I'll take the four kids along for nothing."

Ramjibhai turned to his children and said, "Jump in kids, and have a nice ride home.

Your Ba and I will take the train."

Read more: The Gujju and Free Ride